March 23, 2011
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Misplaced Sentimentality
I am almost finished taping up boxes and tossing old stuff out.
This is always a more intense process than it should be, for me — I think too hard, I feel too deeply, and I am terrible at shaking the temptation to relive bygone memories.
While one of those temptations is to wax poetic for a few thousands words like I would have a decade ago in a similarly nostalgic mood, instead I will just list some of the most interesting items I have uncovered as I meticulously go through my things in preparation for their movement into the new house or discarding to the garbage:
1) A copy of The Bourne Supremacy. I had no idea I owned this. Knowing me, I probably hid it from myself, because the OCD/mentally disturbed part of me finds it really annoying that I only own one movie from the trilogy.
2) A collection of the letters I received when I first moved away from Indianapolis, where I was born, raised, and experienced more “life stuff” than can be expressed here. Skimming them was very bittersweet; an affirming note of encouragement from a spiritual mentor, a touchingly simple and simply touching “I’ll miss you” letter from a family at my old church, an “oh by the way I’m in love with you” letter, a few cards. I suppose it is only appropriate to go over these, given the similar circumstances.
3) My camera! Seriously, I “lost” it for months. I mean, it is by no means a great camera, but there are still 240 pics on it (about to transfer them to the laptop), and it is still good for a good run or two, I bet, nicks and all.
4) Some politically charged DVDs about militant Islam, the invasion of communist principles in the Catholic Church, the condemnation of child sacrifice in the Bible (that would be a pro-life vid, if you didn’t catch the subtlety), and others I have been meaning to watch. Definitely boxed up for the move, haha.
5) My collection of letters from an inmate currently serving time at a maximum-security facility and is kept locked up in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day. Many people of these types (you know, the horrifyingly brilliant type with broken minds who killed some folks) you are not even allowed to write to; once upon a time, I went down a list, trying a letter each, and found one willing to correspond in return. I am re-inspired to write him again (it has been a while), and may someday reveal our exchanges. Remarkably fascinating stuff. I used to be quite the letter-writer, apparently. What a world.
6) A few very sad notebooks where I would start a personal Bible study, journal my insights, but inevitably fizzle out. A wretched cycle. I have been so much better in my Bible reading lately, but with the added charge of being called to be a Godly husband soon as well, it is difficult to not feel some added pressure, even as I know that it should not work that way (Jesus calls me with love, not pressure, to boil it down in gist).
7) Apparently I have this weird habit of keeping items from people I once knew who are now deceased. Uh, awkward. Toss, but a tough toss.
8) Sketches for my book cover. This is funny, because my book actually came up in conversation recently. Almost threw me off-guard.
I am still a sap for sentimentality, but recognize its danger, and am much less of a pack rat then I used to be.
I still miss a lot, though, I admit. I miss many things about life that I do not believe I will ever quite experience again.
But, again, rather than spill my guts about it all — I can (perhaps finally) honestly say:
There is even more that I look forward to.
Life is good. God is good.
Comments (3)
Dear Eric,
I really should be getting to work and stop all this blogging, but I’ve been working 12 hour shifts, am not getting any younger, and have so many people to visit and comment. (And dang it, I just don’t comment like everybody else, which helps to take up even more time.)
First of all, thank you for the friend request and subscription. For visiting my blog and for leaving such a nice comment. I’ve been “blogging” since before there was even blog software, so I certainly hope I know what I’m doing by now. I’ve even written a blog entry called “How and Why I Blog” in case you’re interested. I usually give this link out to all my new subscribers and friends.
http://baldmike2004.xanga.com/731737838/xangablogging-why-and-how-i-blog-repost/
I bought my first home in 2009 after a lifetime of renting. I lived in the previous rented home for 14 years before moving into the place I’m in now. I had enough stuff in the garage that I couldn’t even park a car in there. Most of the stuff was moved in when I moved in, and I figured if I didn’t care to look at it in 14 years, it could be tossed. I’m a “collector”, not a packrat, but a collector of American cultural items, like DVDs, magazines, books, etc.. I ended up tossing a LOT of stuff. Now two years later, I don’t “miss” anything either.
I liked reading your list of what you want to keep and what you’re thinking of tossing. Moving into your own home is a great adventure, and I like the house too. From the one photo you’ve posted that you show below.
Nice to “meet” you, and thanks again for the visit and the comment.
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
I really like this post. It’s oddly inspiring in an every-day sort of way. Life just is, it goes on, it brings things with it and leaves things behind, but we manage. It also makes me excited to leave this place in a few years.
I also like the way you blog.
@Kelsicus - Why thank you!